I don't know where I'm going, but I'm on my way.

Isn’t it crazy that you could be in two completely different places in just one day?

I think sometimes we may lose track of ourselves. Forget who we are or where we’re going or who we want to be. I’m not sure we even notice half the time. All of a sudden it hits you and you make your way back and start all over again. I guess that’s life, isn’t it? Its strange to think about and I’m not sure that I’m even making sense right now.

I have these brief moments of clarity. These moments when I think I’ve finally learned my lesson. Then a little bit of time passes and I realize I still have so much to learn. And that’s okay. I’m living and I’m doing the best I can. Life is winding. Constantly twisting and turning. Changing. Me. I’m changing. But I’m still me. Still the same person. But changed. Does that make sense?

I went to Philadelphia with some really good friends of mine that I haven’t been as close to as I was in the past. Being with them, it just clicked again. Almost as if no time had even passed. Like nothing in our lives had changed, when in reality, so much has changed. But we were all still ourselves. Different but the same. And we were together. That’s the important part. We were together.

It was a spur of the moment trip — for me at least. A perfect adventure. It was completely unexpected and I’m still kind of surprised it happened. I’m so grateful for it. I have a pretty spectacular life that I should always appreciate.

The trip was quite the memory. In the morning I was in Buffalo, but by about 2:30 or so, I was in Philadelphia. Two different worlds filled with two different sets of people. But for that day (and the next, technically) I was in both. I don’t know why it strikes me as so crazy. Why its so hard to comprehend that a world exists outside my own. Its kind of beautiful the way the world works. People are beautiful, too.

Life is beautiful.

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2012 Buffalo Philadelphia adventure friends memories my ramblings personal life

misandrist-witchcraft:

welcome to the end of the semester where all your hopes and dreams die

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college 2012 finals not mine text

Via Don't forget to remember me.

hisgoodbyenote:

in the midst of the election chaos, nicolas cage quietly sneaks away with the declaration of independence 

(Source: ziamstagrams)

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lol not mine election 2012

Via one sky, one destiny

Eisenhower

My room is so cozy.

It feels so perfectly wonderful in my dorm right now. Dark except for the glow of the Christmas lights and my laptop screen. A slight breeze from the fans. Quiet.

I can’t decide if it feels like forever since I’ve been in Fredonia or if its as if I never even left.

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2012 college fall fredonia late night thoughts my ramblings

Its lookin’ like its about to storm.

Sitting on the back patio with my dad listening to Natalie Merchant’s beautiful voice as he tries to sing along.

“Write that down,” he says. “Wire brush.”

I really don’t even know what that means. I wasn’t really paying attention. I love when he tries to sing along to songs. The Cranberries are playing now. I made a good mix thanks to spotify. Love that application. For real, best invention since…tumblr.

“I got to be honest… That was a rough night. I drank a lot. Did it seem like I was really drinking that much?” He gets so mad when he knows I’m recording what he’s saying.

“Hey listen dumbass. Do you think I party like a rockstar?” Now he’s just trying to be funny. But he’s succeeding. Great, now he has my phone. No good can come of this…

This is what he just texted to my mom: “Its your husbsnd she is docmenting me onthe laptop now…this has to stop”. He’s not that great of a texter… Obviously.

He’s my inspiration for so many tweets. And I’ll use him as a lot of material for my future book(s) for sure. I’m not sure he likes that too much. Oh well. Its all just too good to not be shared.

If there’s one thing I’ll remember about my dad… well there are a lot of things I’ll remember about him. He is literally the best. Honestly, I don’t think he knows how much I love him. Or if he’ll ever really know. He thinks I’m always making fun, but the truth is he is just too funny. You know, he really could do anything. People love him. He doesn’t realize how great he is. He thinks all the good stuff he does, just goes unnoticed. But it doesn’t. Maybe other people aren’t that appreciative of it, but I am. I really… I just can’t tell you how perfect he is. He’s perfect despite his flaws. My mom says I’m just like him. I can only that’s even just a little bit true. I love him.

Sitting on the patio with him, its perfect. I’m not really talking. He is. I’m listening. And writing. Er, typing. But now the rain is ruining the time we’re having.

We’re moving to the garage. This should be fun.

He just gave me chair to sit on, “All things cool come from me.” He doesn’t know how right he is.

“That’s a cool chair, isn’t it?”
“Yeah it is. Estate sale?”
“No. I’m not telling where its from.”

Well I guess we all have our secrets…

“You’re writing about me, aren’t you?”
“Yep.”
“You’re an idiot.”

My dad likes to sit on the back patio, drink beer, and listen to music to unwind. He’d probably like some company most of the time, but my brother and I would never really come out. I don’t really know why. We must have thought we were too cool. Or were too busy with something meaningless. Now I just know that’s stupid. So I’m gonna keep sitting out here just to make up for those times that I wasn’t here.

I remember this one time he was outside and it started pouring. He ran into the garage just like we are now. I remember him just standing there. Me standing in the side door hallway just laughing like it was the funniest thing in the world. Yeah, I remember that.

I love him. I really hope that someday he’ll know how much. Or better yet, that he knows now.

It started pouring just now. My mom is in the side hallway laughing at us. Its like a re-creation of my memory from several years earlier. If my life was a movie, this would be a rather significant moment. That’s pretty cool, I’d say.

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summer 2012 memories dad personal my ramblings